November 25, 2013

Maryam Monsef and Jess Melnik Win 2013 YMCA Peace Medallion

November 25, 2013/ PTBOCANADA

Maryam & Jessica (PTBOCanada file photo)

Every year, YMCA's across the world celebrate Peace Week by awarding someone special in their community with the YMCA Peace Medallion. The Peace Medallion is intended to recognize the achievements of individuals and groups in local communities who—without any special resources—demonstrate in their lives and activities the values expressed in the World Alliance of YMCA's Statement of Peace, which states "Peace has many dimensions. It is not only a state of relationships among nations. We cannot expect to live in a world of peace if we are unable to live in peace with those close to us—even those who differ from us. The responsibility for peace begins with each person, in relationship with family and friends, and extends to community life and national activities....It is we ourselves who must see, act, pray for ways to be peacemakers."

The Balsillie Family Branch in Peterborough has announced that this year's winners of the YMCA Peace Medallion are Maryam Monsef and Jessica Melnik for their work with the Red Pashmina Campaign. The Red Pashmina Campaign (RPC) is driven by a vision for a world where women and girls everywhere have the opportunity to pursue their dreams.

The campaign aims to celebrate, empower and connect women around the world, first by funding education initiatives through the sale of beautiful Red Pashminas, and second, through sharing the stories of courageous, everyday women. Founders Maryam and Jessica believe that by supporting women and celebrating their stories, RPC will be able inspire others and foster a local and global community of empowered, successful individuals.

You can purchase your Red Pashmina from several local businesses for $20, with proceeds going to advancing education and educational opportunities for Afghan women and their families.

City Hall delegates will present the award on Thursday, November 28th at 7 pm in the Grand Hall inside the YMCA, located at 123 Aylmer St. South, just off Lansdowne. The YMCA is inviting and encouraging everyone in Peterborough to attend the ceremony and celebrate with them as Maryam and Jessica receive this great honour.

Learn more about Red Pashmina in this video below...

—PTBOCanada's Scott Arnold

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June 26, 2013

Watch: Maryam Monsef On Impact PCVS, United Nations, YWCA & Red Pashmina Has On Her Life

June 26, 2013/ PTBOCANADA

Our Evan Holt shot this video of Maryam Monsef talking about the impact the YWCA movement has had on her life and where it's lead her. Watch below...

[YouTube]

Read more about Maryam's backstory here.

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May 24, 2013

Dear Good Men Of Peterborough, You So Rock

May 24, 2013/ PTBOCANADA

Where are all the good men in Peterborough?

Like many other single women I know, I sometimes wonder if there are any good men out there. My girlfriends and I joke about it and come up with our own hypotheses for where these good men may be hiding.

When I dig a bit deeper, I realize that part of that cynicism comes from the horrible things that have been happening to women and communities in Afghanistan. But I also know that as a woman in Canada, I am still at risk for violence:

• Every week, at least one woman in Canada—and sometimes more—is murdered by a current or former partner.
• 39% of women report experiencing sexual assault sometime during their lives. 2/3 of all women victims of sexual assault are under 24.
• Violence against women costs Canada well over $4 billion each year in costs of social services, criminal justice, lost employment days and health care. The human costs are much higher.
• On any given day, over 3,000 women and 2,500 children are staying in an emergency shelter somewhere in Canada to escape domestic violence.*

My family and I are among the 14,000 women and children who have stayed at YWCA’s Crossroads Shelter since its inception in 1983.

This violence against generation after generation of women and girls has to stop.

It turns out, there is a long list of good men in Peterborough who agree—and a growing number of photos to prove it!

On Friday, May 31st, over 200 good men will slip into red high heels and walk tall against the prevalence of domestic abuse in our community. They will be supporting the YWCA’s work to provide women and their children with access to the safety and security of a women’s shelter and healing programs that provide longer-term support as they rebuild their lives.

I can’t think of anything sexier.

So if you’re in the market for good men, like the idea of seeing CEOs, bankers, firefighters, social workers, police officers and local celebrities in red high heels, you better block off your May 31st noon hour. Come and join me in cheering on these good men as they begin their walk in front of City Hall and back in bright red stilettos.

If you believe in what these men are doing and wish to encourage this kind of leadership, show your support by sponsoring a walker or a team.

If you’re a good man who has the courage to stand up, there is still time to sign up!

If you are a part of Walk A Mile In Her Shoes, please accept the sincere gratitude of at least one woman who found a healing turning point at the YWCA’s Crossroads Shelter.

Truly,

Maryam Monsef

—PTBOCanada.com contributor Maryam Monsef

*Statistics via.

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April 20, 2012

From Afghanistan To Iran To Peterborough: One Woman's Amazing Story Of How A City (& A School) Saved Her Life

April 20, 2012/ PTBOCANADA

[September 22nd, 2016: UPDATE here.]

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The most frequently asked question I encounter is, “Why did you come to Peterborough?”

My story goes something like this.

I was eleven years old.

And I came here kicking and screaming.

Despite the horrible circumstances in my first home in Afghanistan—and the uncertainty of refugee life in my second home in Iran—I thought I had it pretty good there.

My mom was widowed at the age of twenty-three and instead of re-marrying, she decided to spend her life taking care of her three little girls. I never felt the void of a father because my sisters and I were raised in a full house: full of extended family, love and attention.

I had the perfect childhood.

I thought I had it all.

My mom & dadI had no idea that my mother was barely getting by. Despite her brilliance and training as a teacher, she was not allowed to work in either Afghanistan or Iran: the Taliban had this thing against working women and educated girls. Iran continues to have this thing about permitting any Afghan refugee to work, period. To survive, my mother cooked, cleaned, sewed and relied heavily on her brothers’ help—an indignant, unsustainable arrangement.

So imagine her relief when I started receiving marriage proposals at the age of ten! The idea of one less mouth to feed and one less daughter to worry about was too appealing.

She had to make a decision and she did.

A decision I resented for a long time, but today, I understand it as the biggest sacrifice my mother ever made.

I was told that I would be moving to Canada to start a new life. And I didn’t have a choice.

I was shocked, angry and heartbroken.

After travelling by various modes of transportation through Iran, Pakistan, and Jordan, I found myself in Peterborough, Ontario.

It was May 1st, 1996.

The sun was shining. The grass was green. I came face to face with my very first robin. And despite the pain of separation from my loved ones, I was hopeful. Canada was the land of opportunity, and I owed it to myself, my mother and the rest of the girls back home to make something of myself here.

And if I worked really hard, I could get an education, get a good job and eventually be reunited with the loved ones I had left behind. After all, I had survived a dangerous journey to get here and the rules that held girls back did not apply here. The worst was over!

Boy, was I wrong.

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My hopes for a smooth adjustment were shattered—not too long after they had formed.

The realities of new life started to sink in when I started school: I was the strange, foreign girl. I didn’t speak English, so I didn’t have a voice, which basically meant I did not matter. I didn’t smoke, drink, or have a social life outside school. Coming from a segregated school system, I was overwhelmed by the concept of boys and girls in the same classroom.

Sisters: Full of hopeI was teased, taunted and bullied. I didn’t have my support system to help heal the emotional bruises. My uncle and his family were here and they did the very best they could. They were coping with their own integration challenges and there was only so much they could do anyway.

And I didn’t know it at the time, but complicating the whole process were the growing pains of puberty.

Life was horrible.

I had gone from being the active, confident girl who loved life to being a miserable, isolated outcast who spent lunch hours hidden in the bathroom.

I cried myself to sleep every night that first year. I would pray to God to take me back to my family I was helpless in a strange new world, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I may not be the best Muslim out there, but what happened next has turned me into one of the strongest believers out there.

I like to think of it as ‘my miracle’.

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My mom and meNo prayer goes unanswered and a bitter, broken me was brought back to life by the kindness of strangers.

In my darkest hour, I witnessed the attentive care of staff and volunteers at the New Canadians Centre. When I had nowhere to go, I found a safe haven and a turning point at the YWCA's Crossroads Shelter. When I thought I had no family here, I was rejuvenated by the love of the Sisters of St. Joseph and found a home with Sister Ruth Hennessey's Casa Maria refugee home.

People I did not know, who spoke a different language, who believed in a different God, were hanging our curtains, finding us furniture, taking us shopping, encouraging us to explore Peterborough and feel at home.

Just when I thought I had to look, talk and dream like everyone else, I was accepted into the Integrated Arts Program at PCVS. For the first time since coming to Canada, I was encouraged to discover all the things that were unique about me and to nurture those traits. I made friends who actually liked and respected me. I connected with educators who saw something in me and went out of their way to make sure I saw it too.

The Monsef Women with brother in law (photograph by JESS MELNIK) I said it before and I'll say it again: PCVS saved my life.

My family joke that I am married to Peterborough... and they are not too far off.

It may have started out as an arranged marriage of sorts with many ups and downs, but we are in a good place now.

Like many successful marriages out there, ours is going strong because the people around us are helping to make it work—another blessing to celebrate on our sixteenth anniversary in Peteborough, on May 1st (most likely at the Silver Bean).

This kind of love is a very special kind of love. It doesn’t come around twice in a lifetime and I will love and honor Peterborough all the days of my life.

It took a while, but I finally understand why my mother did what she did to bring us girls to Peterborough. She found the courage to leave behind everything that mattered because she wanted her daughters to have the opportunity to fully participate and positively contribute to society.

Check out more of our story in this video segment below, and how my mother brought us here...